We discovered yesterday that the robo mower we saw in Lincoln’s Inn Fields hasn’t been made redundant or ran out of double A’s, it was just having a rest. As the sign says, ‘Lincoln’ works 24/7 in all weathers so there’s no overtime to be shelled out, wet money for working in the rain and there’s no threat of him taking a Monday off as a “sickie”.

We are angry and we will fight against this motorised enemy of the people. Plans are in progress for some home-made ramps, ski slaloms and road-cone zig-zags (to confuse ‘Lincoln’) to be put in the park under the cover of night. We cannot let these machines take over. Who’ll be doing the skiving when the humble council gardener and parkie are a thing of the past? Who’ll be wearing the Donkey Jacket? #Savethecouncilgardener