Yesterday whilst walking through Lincoln’s Inn Fields on the way back from a lunchtime shopping trip we spotted on the grass (or what’s left of it), a strange and small-wheeled device tearing up and down. “What the…?” we thought to ourselves.
After a minute of two of head-scratching, a stranger joined us and we both tried to work out what the hell it was. Was it some sort of TV comedy show stunt? Mobile broadband? Or an alien sussing out the area for a possible UFO landing in Holborn?
After five minutes we came to the conclusion it was a robotic lawnmower. It must have sussed that we were interested in it as the thing stopped going up and down in straight lines and made a beeline for us. It stopped just in front of where we were standing then span around a couple of times. We were then waiting for it to say (in a 1970’s comedic robot voice) something like “You have 20 seconds to comply” or “Smile you’re on Candid Camera” but it just flashed a couple of lights on its body in recognition (above) then resumed doing what it was doing.
What the hell is the world coming to? Please don’t tell us we’ll soon be doing away with the humble council gardener and just be left with robots. Who’ll drink the endless cups of tea and eat egg and bacon sarnies in the park hut in work’s time? Who’ll be selling old spring bulbs the council throw away come summertime and who’ll wear the regulation donkey jackets and steel-capped boots?
Another thought, surely these council Robo-mowers can be picked up, demobilised and put in a bin bag and taken to some-one else’s garden (ie. your own) without the park-keeper finding out before it’s too late. Or are they equipped with an alarm that goes off when activated by their owner “I AM A ROBO-MOWER AND I AM BEING TAKEN BY AN NON-AUTHORISED USER” which gets progressively louder until the real owner gets it back?
Or could the government could do a Boris-Bike type scheme with them. You pick them up from the side of the road where another gardener has left them, put your quid in the slot on its side, use it to cut your lawn, then chuck it out on the pavement for the next person. Answers on a postcard please.
Now Robo-mower, do us all a favour go about your business far far away (on a motorway traffic island preferably) while we pour ourselves another cup of tea. “Yes, Master”…
The winner of the Vertical rodent of the week goes to this squirrel seen on the side of Weeds HQ the other day. What you can’t see are the two cats on the pavement below. Gladly the squirrel made it away safely! #squirrelonaveritcaltip
Here’s news of three interesting events (all FREE!) coming up in the forthcoming months. The first is the
After we got over the shock of seeing our pond’s sworn enemy the rest of the afternoon was spent with a bit of bed tidying and inspecting the dahlia tubers that are plonked under the stairs in a blue builder’s sack. Any excess soil was knocked off and anything that looked a bit mushy or mouldy was chucked into the bin. If you like dahlias like we do, a couple of good resources are The National Dahlia Society Facebook page
Last weekend another hour was spent out in the garden in the cold and damp but it was worth it. As you can see the beds at the left-hand side of the garden were looking initially untidy. After about an hours work they now look half reasonable. There’s 
Weeds up to me knees 